George Pappas: For me the Internet is just yet another way of being rejected by women.

Frank: What about you, is there someone else?
Kathleen Kelly: No. No, but, but there's the dream of someone else.

Joe Fox: I like Patricia. I *love* Patricia. Patricia makes COFFEE nervous.

Joe Fox: You're crazy about him--
Kathleen Kelly: Yes. I am.
Joe Fox: Then why don't you run off with him? What are you waiting for?
Kathleen Kelly: I don't actually know him.
Joe Fox: Really?
Kathleen Kelly: We only know each other--oh, God, you're not going to believe this--
Joe Fox: Let me guess. From the Internet.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: You have mail.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.
Joe Fox: Very powerful words.
Kathleen Kelly: Yes.

Joe Fox: The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What to pack for a trip? "Leave the gun, take the cannolis."

Kathleen Kelly: So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

Joe Fox: The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!
[exits]
Next customer in line: I want a tall, decaf cappuccino.

[Discussing the new FoxBooks superstore.]
Joe Fox: Hey, you know what? We should announce ourselves to the neighborhood. Just let them know, here we come.
Kevin: Oh, no, this is the Upper West Side, man. We might as well tell 'em we're opening up a--a crack house. They're gonna hate us. Soon as they hear, they're gonna be lining up--
Kevin: --to picket the big bad chain store--
Kevin: --that's out to destroy--
Joe Fox: --everything they hold dear!
Kevin: Yeah.
Joe Fox: Do you know what, we are gonna seduce them. We're gonna seduce them with our square footage, and our discounts, and ourdeep armchairs, and...
Kevin, Joe Fox: Our cappuccino!
Joe Fox: That's right. They're gonna hate us at the beginning, but--
Kevin, Joe Fox: --but we'll get 'em in the end!
Joe Fox: Do you know why?
Kevin: Why?
Joe Fox: Because we're going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: "Coming soon, a FoxBooks superstore and the end of civilization as you know it."

Schuyler Fox: Your father is getting married.
Joe Fox: Really?
Nelson Fox: Yes.
Joe Fox: Congratulations.
Nelson Fox: Thank you.
Joe Fox: Why?
Nelson Fox: Who knows?
Joe Fox: Love?
Nelson Fox: Possible.

Kathleen Kelly: I love daisies.
Joe Fox: You told me.
Kathleen Kelly: They're so friendly. Don't you think they are the friendliest flower?

Joe Fox: So what's his handle?
Kathleen Kelly: Uh...
Joe Fox: I'm not going to write him, is that what you're worried about? You think I'm going to e-mail him?
Kathleen Kelly: Alright -- NY152.
Joe Fox: N-Y-one-five-two. One hundred and fifty-two. He's... 152 years old. He's had 152 moles removed, so now he's got 152 pock marks on his face.
Kathleen Kelly: The number of people who think he looks like Clark Gable.
Joe Fox: 152 people who think he looks like a Clark BAR.
Kathleen Kelly: Why did I ever tell you this?
Joe Fox: 152 stitches from his nose job. The number of his souvenir shot glasses that he's collected in his travels.
Kathleen Kelly: No... the number... His address? No, no! He would never do anything that prosaic!

Joe Fox: You know, sometimes I wonder...
Kathleen Kelly: What?
Joe Fox: Well... if i hadn't been "Fox Books" and you hadn't been "The Shop Around the Corner," and you and I had just met...
Kathleen Kelly: I know.
Joe Fox: Yeah, yeah. I would've asked for your number. And I wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling you up and saying, Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee, or drinks, or dinner, or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?

Joe Fox: You can forgive this guy for standing you up, but you can't forgive me for this little thing... of putting you out of business?

Kathleen Kelly: God, I didn't, I didn't realize. I didn't, I didn't know.
Joe Fox: [finishing the sentence] who you were with?
[bad Italian accent]
Joe Fox: I didn't know who you were with.
Kathleen Kelly: Excuse me?
Joe Fox: It's from The Godfather.
[small laugh]
Joe Fox: Sorry, it's from The Godfather. It's, when the, ah, movie producer realizes that Tom Hagen is an emissary of Vito Corleone. It's just before the horse's head ends up in the bed all the bloody sheets, you know, wakes up, and it's
[imitates horrified scream]
Joe Fox: ah!!! AaHH!!! AAAHH!!! AAHHHH!!! AAHHH!!!
[pauses]
Joe Fox: Never mind.

Joe Fox: It wasn't...personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.

Particia Eden: When I get out of here, I'm having my eyeballs lasered.

George Pappas: I'm going to get some candles cuz it make my apartment smell Moss-a!

Frank Navasky: Name me one thing, ONE, that we've gained from technology.
Kathleen Kelly: Electricity
Frank Navasky: That's one.
[points to computer]
Frank Navasky: You think this machine is your friend but it's not!

Joe Fox: Brinkley is my dog. He loves the streets of New York as much as I do. Although he likes to eat bits of pizza and bagels off the sidewalk and I prefer to buy them.

Kathleen Kelly: What will NY152 say today I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it connects. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

Kevin: The electrical contractor called, his truck hit a deer last night, so he's not gonna be here until tomorrow. And the upstairs shelves are delayed because the shipment of pine we ordered has beetles.
Joe Fox: Very good, VERY good!
Kevin: And we got a 50,000 dollar ticket for construction worker peeing off the roof.
Joe Fox: Great, that is great. Is the electrician here today?

[In the backgroud horns are honking, tires are skidding and people are shouting in the street]
Kathleen Kelly: [seriously] Don't you just love New York in the fall?

Joe Fox: Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.

Kathleen Kelly: Is it infidelity if you're involved with somebody on email?
Christina Plutzker: Have you had sex?
Kathleen Kelly: No of course not! I don't even know him!
Christina Plutzker: No, I mean CYBERsex!
Kathleen Kelly: No
Christina Plutzker: Well, you know what? Don't do it- 'cause the minute you do, they lose all respect for you.

Joe Fox: Hey! This fabric on the couch, does it have a name?
Nelson Fox: Money!
Joe Fox: Huh?
Nelson Fox: It's name is MONey!

Birdie Conrad: What are you girls talking about?
Christina Plutzker: Cybersex!
Birdie Conrad: I tried to have cybersex once, but I kept getting a busy signal!