A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

The classics are only primitive literature. They belong in the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears to-night, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
- Stephen Leacock Quote

What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
- Stephen Leacock Quote