Annie Reed: Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.

Becky: Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Jonah Baldwin: Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
Sam Baldwin: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.

Jay: Well, this is fate! She's divorced, we don't want to redo the cabinets, and you need a wife. What do they call it when everything intersects?
Sam Baldwin: The Bermuda Triangle.

Jonah Baldwin: Thanks for dinner. I've never seen potatoes cooked like that before.

Jessica: I am telling them you're twelve so you can fly unaccompanied and the stewardess won't carry you around and stuff like that.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you crazy! Who'd believe I'm twelve?
Jessica: If it's in the computer, they believe anything.
Jonah Baldwin: Are you sure?
Jessica: Do you want me to say that you are really really short for your age and they shouldn't say anything because it would hurt your feelings.
Jonah Baldwin: Yea, that's a great idea!

[The Taxi Driver takes Jonah to the Empire State Building]
Taxi Driver: There it is. What are you gonna do when you get up there? Spit off the top?

Annie Reed: When a man is a widower why do we say he was widowed? Why don't we say he was widowered?

Walter: Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expections into it.

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!
Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.
Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."
Greg: Who didn't?
Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jakel and Lee Marvin (Begins to cry.) were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...
Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!
Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez -
Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!
Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...
Greg: Stop.
Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jakel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...
Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Sam Baldwin: Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

Sam Baldwin: So, how's my butt?

Annie: This was mailed before I went to Seattle. Before the ho.

Jessica: "H and B."
[Sam peers back at her]
Jessica: "Hi and bye."

Annie: I don't deserve you.
Walter: Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but... okay.

Sam Baldwin: [looking at a photograph] She looks like my third grade teacher, and I hated my third grade teacher.....wait a minute, she IS my third grade teacher!

Annie Reed: Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.

[Jay is helping Sam get back into the dating scene.]
Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

Jay: Gunga Din is not a, a swatch kind of movie.

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.