Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
[singing]
Lee: Ooh! Ha! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

Captain Diel: Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.
Carter: You're God damn right.

Lee: Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.
Carter: What the hell did you just say?

Sang: The drop will be made tonight. The amount will be $50,000,000.
Carter: Fifty million dollars?! Man who you think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton?!

Carter: This is the United States of James Carter here. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito!

[Lee turns on the radio]
Lee: Beach Boys.
Carter: Oh hell no. You didn't just touch my God damn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys is great American music.
Carter: The Beach Boys is gonna get you a great ass whuppin', don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man.

Clive Cod: Let me tell you something, I don't know anything about that, so you can kiss my fat ass.
Carter: Clive, it would take me all day to kiss your fat ass.

Carter: we've must be a misunderstanding, 'cause I was sent down here for the big case for the kidnapping of the little girl.

Carter: No disrespect, sir, but he's only gonna get in my way. If I'm gonna handle the situation for you, I'm gonna have to work alone.
Agent Russ: Carter, he *is* the situation.

Carter: That's why I don't have no partner, that's one thing I learned from my daddy.
Lee: Your father was a policeman?
Carter: Fifteen years LAPD.
Lee: My daddy also a policeman.
Carter: Your daddy was a cop?
Lee: Not a cop, an officer, a legend all over Hong Kong.
Carter: My daddy a legend too all over America. My daddy once arrested fifteen people in one night by himself.
Lee: My daddy arrested 25 by himself.
Carter: ...My daddy once saved five crackheads from a burnin' building, by himself.
Lee: My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hand.
Carter: My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too.
Lee: Hey, don't talk about my father.
Carter: Don't talk about my daddy.

[Outtake]
Carter: You know that other stuff but you don't know his name?
Luke: Man, people tell me shit...Achoo!!
Carter: What's wrong with you?

Lee: We can hang in my crib. I will show you my 'hood.

Lee: We both full of shit.
Carter: YOU full of shit.

Carter: I've been lookin' for your sweet and sour chicken ass.

Lee: Ah! Beach Boys!
Carter: Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my goddamn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys are great American music.
Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ass whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man!

Carter: This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.

Carter: This is the United States of James Carter now. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito. Your ass belongs to me.

Waitress: For one?
Carter: No, for two, I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Juntao.
Waitress: I'm sorry I do not know Mr. Juntao.
Carter: Look maybe you don't understand, I'm Mr. Juntao's lawyer, legal advisor, he got into some shit again and he told me to come down here and I'm a very busy man, ain't got time to be down here this late but I'm down here, my wife want me to come home, my baby is shittin' all over the house, he needs diapers, would you please go get Mr. Juntao?

Lee: I am not responsible for your assumption.
Carter: You full of shit, you understand me, you full of shit.
Lee: Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.
Carter: What the hell did you just say? "I let people talk, blah blah blah" so I'm the one full of shit?
Lee: We both full of shit.
Carter: You full of shit.

Agent Whitney: Well as long as we're gonna humiliate someone, might as well be LAPD.

Lee: Whassup, my nigga?
Bartender: What did you just say?
Lee: Whassup, my nigga.

Lee: Leave me alone. A man like you could never understand.
Carter: A man like me?
Lee: You are devoted only to yourself. You're a shame of being a police officer, you dishonor your father's name!
Carter: You don't know nothing about my father.
Lee: You said your father was a legend.
Carter: My father was a legend. My father was killed making a routine traffic stop in broad daylight by some punk who didn't want no ticket. His partner was supposed to get out of the car and back him up but never did. My father was just as devoted as you, and now he's dead, and for what? A traffic ticket and some punk, you tell me what's the honor in that.
Lee: You believe your father wasted his life, that he died for nothing?
Carter: Prove me wrong.

Carter: It is not my job to be jumping on and off of buses, I don't do that, I am not Carl Lewis!

Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!

[Meeting Lee at the airport]
Carter: Please tell me you speak English. I'm Detective Carter. Do you speaka any English? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!?
[Lee just smiles]
Carter: I cannot believe this SHIT! First I get a bullshit assignment, now Mr. Ricearoni. Doesn't even speak American. C'mon, man, my ride over here. Put your bag in the back.
[Lee pauses]
Carter: PUT YOUR BAG IN THE BACK!
[Lee hands the bag to Carter]
Carter: No, no, no, you put your own shit in the back! I'm not a skycap!

Carter: I'm gonna kick your ass and then I'll take your ass to jail.

[Carter is riding in a tow truck pulling up to the Consulate]
Carter: Hey y'all see a little Asian dude about this height with a steering wheel on his arm?
Guard: Go screw yourself.
Carter: What did you say?
Guard: I said go screw yourself.
Carter: You take your little sensitive ass up there and let me in. Get out of the way! Don't make me get up out of this truck! Man when I get up in there I'm slappin' somebody, I don't play that.

[Carter has ordered Chinese takeout.]
Carter: Damn, Chin, this is some greasy shit. You ain't got no better food, like some chicken wings, some baby back ribs, some fries or something?
Lee: Chinese food, no soul food here!
Carter: I didn't say nothin' 'bout no soul food, I said you got some better food. I don't want that greasy shit. How you gonna sell a big box of grease?

Carter: First Class, I like this, this is tight.
Steward: Can I take your jacket, sir?
Carter: My jacket? No, no, you can take this bag though.

Agent Warren Russ: Carter, we're impressed with the great job you did yesterday, so when you get back there's gonna be an FBI badge waiting for you.
Carter: You serious? I don't know what to say. It's like a dream come true. I got an idea though, I got an idea. Why don't y'all take that badge and shove it up your ass. All up in your ass. I'm LAPD.
[Walks towards the plane]
Agent Whitney: Bitch.

[Carter has just been booted in the head.]
Carter: ... which one of y'all just hit me?

Carter: I don't want no partner, I don't need no partner and I ain't never gonna have no partner. Did Kojak have a partner?
Tania Johnson: Yeah the fat guy.
Carter: Well he wasn't ever with him. Did Columbo have a partner?
Tania Johnson: Captain Diel ordered me to go with you on that bust because you needed bomb squad back up but once again you screwed me and you screwed yourself.

Captain Diel: You destroyed half a city block!
Carter: That block was already messed up.
Captain Diel: And you lost a lot of evidence!
Carter: You still got a little bit left.

Carter: How would we even recognize Juntao, none of us never saw him.
Lee: I have, he killed my father.

Carter: How would we even recognize Juntao, none of us never saw him.
Lee: I have, he killed my "partner"

Carter: Don't act like you don't know nothing, i'll take all your ass to the jail, right now if I don't get the answers. Ok. You think i am a fool, you are playin' me like a fool, Ok. Ok.... Lee go outside it's gonna be a little dangerous in here.

Carter: I'm lookin' out for you when I reach the top. I'm gonna make you mayor.
Captain Diel: I'd rather you didn't.

Carter: C'mon! You got everybody excited about something being blowed up, and look at your little punk British ass.

[Carter has snatched a guard's gun.]
Carter: Hahahahaha! You didn't know I could do that, did you? Put your hands up! Put your hands up! I ain't gonna kill you this time. I'm just gonna kick your ass!
[Carter kicks the guard and knocks him out with the gun.]
Carter: You tell your friends about me.

Lee: Why would they not want my help?
Carter: Because they don't give a damn about you! They don't like you! I don't like you!
Lee: I don't care! I'm here for the girl!
Carter: The girl don't like you!

Captain Diel: [on the phone with FBI] Even if I had an extra man, who would want such a bullshit assignment? It's a disgrace to me! It's a disgrace to my department! It's a disgrace to...
[Carter enters the office]
Captain Diel: Dan, I'm sending someone right over.