Cmndt. Eric Lassard: What do you intend to do about Mahoney?
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: What's he done?
Cmndt. Eric Lassard: "What's he done?" I'll tell you what he's done . . .
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Yes, sir?
Cmndt. Eric Lassard: He did a very, very bad thing.
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: To whom, sir?
Cmndt. Eric Lassard: "To whom?"
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Yes, sir.
Cmndt. Eric Lassard: Well, I don't know.

Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Here is the house, here is the window. I am the burglar. I'm coming out of the house, over the hedge. I have the stolen stereo in my hands . . .
Cadet Eugene Tackleberry: Drop that stereo before I blow your Goddamn nuts off, a****le!
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Tackleberry, we really need to talk.

Cadet Carey Mahoney: What's you name?
Cadet Larvell Jones: Jones. Larvell Jones. Monsignor, Larvell Jones . . . M.D.
Police Officer: Let's go, Mahoney.
Cadet Carey Mahoney: See you 'round, Monsignor.
Cadet Larvell Jones: Doctor, Monsignor.


Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Why didn't you guys call me this weekend?
Cadet Kyle Blankes: Well, uh, nothing really happened.
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: There was a party, wasn't there?
Cadet Kyle Blankes: Yes, sir.
Lt. Thaddeus Harris: Well, what went on?
Cadet Chad Copeland: Dancing, sir. Mostly dancing.

Cadet Carey Mahoney: What are you doing at the academy?
Cadet Moses Hightower: I got bored with my chosen profession.
Cadet Carey Mahoney: What was that?
Cadet Moses Hightower: I was a florist.
Cadet Carey Mahoney: A florist?
Cadet Moses Hightower: You know, flowers and sh**.

Cadet George Martín: You a cadet?
Cadet Carey Mahoney: I am until I can get myself thrown out of here. Be out by ten.
Cadet George Martín: You, like, joined the academy to get thrown out?
Cadet Carey Mahoney: That's right.
Cadet George Martín: You're a pretty interesting guy yourself.

Cadet George Martín: You married, huh?
Cadet Douglas Fackler: Yeah.
Cadet George Martín: That's beautiful, man. To me, marriage is a sacred institution. So, tell me, you and the wife do it doggy-style or what?