[Sitting with three beautiful women at the Ritz club.]
Buddy: Is this the "nice-ass" section?!

Mama Klump: When the good Lord made you, He made you beautiful inside and out.

Sherman Klump: Daddy, all I'm saying is that scientific breakthroughs are occurring all the time.
Ernie Klump: The only thing that's 'bout to break through is your ass 'bout to break through the seat of your pants.

Mama Klump: I think I do remember hearing somethin' on TV about colon cleansin'. They say everyone should have one. I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly.
Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine!
[Farts.]
Papa Klump: There, my colon is clean. My colon is squeaky clean!

Dean Richmond: Can I get you anything? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?

Mama Klump: Cletus, the dog has ripped the garbage bag open again.
Papa Klump: Well, shoot the damn dog!
Mama Klump: I ain't shootin' no dog!
Papa Klump: I'm tryin' to watch "Roseanne."

Mama Klump: Cletus, come clean this garbage up.
Papa Klump: Man, I'm watchin' TV!