[On the failure of their previous nanny.]
Mrs. Banks: She seemed so solemn and cross.
George Banks: Never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.

Mr. Banks: [singing] It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 / King Edward's on the throne; it's the age of men!

[Mary Poppins measures herself with her tape measure and reads what it says.]
Mary Poppins: Just as I thought. "Mary Poppins, pratically perfectly in every way."

Mary Poppins: In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - SNAP - the job's a game!

Mr. Banks: [singing] It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead.

Mrs. Banks: As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary things seem to have come over the household.
Mr. Banks: Is that so.
Mrs. Banks: Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning!
Mr. Banks: Really. Well, that is extraordinary.

Bert: [singing] You've got to grind, grind, grind, at that grindstone.

Bert: You think... you wink... you do a double blink. You close your eyes, and JUMP!
[nothing happens]
Jane: Was something supposed to happen?
Mary Poppins: Bert, what utter nonsense. Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple. Give me your hand please Michael. Don't slouch. One, two...
[they jump into the sidewalk drawing]

Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?!
Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?
Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?!
Mary Poppins: First of all I would like to make one thing perfectly clear.
Mr. Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
[exits]

Mrs. Banks: [singing] Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.

Bert: It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winning And Prudence and Gwendolyn set your heart spinning Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming
Penguins: Janice, Felicia, Lydia.
Bert: Charming Cynthia's dashing, Vivian's sweet Stephanie's smashing, Priscilla a treat.
Penguins: Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane.
Bert: Convivial company, time and again. Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts I'll agree are three jolly good sports But cream of the crop, tip of the top It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop!

George Banks: Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.

Jane, Michael: [singing] If you don't scold and dominate us We will never give you cause to hate us We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea.

George Banks: [singing] A man has dreams of walking with giants To carve his niche in the edifice of time. Before the mortar of his seal Has a chance to congeal The cup is dashed from his lips The flame is snuffed a-borning He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.

Mary Poppins: Close your mouth please, Michael, we are not a codfish.

Mary Poppins: Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
Bert: Indubitably.

Bert: Aw, Mrs. Corey. A story for you: your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew.

Bert: Bert will take care of you. Like I was your own father. Now who's after you?
Jane: Father is.
Bert: What?

Bert: Reminds me of a guy I know who got a cushy job in a watch factor.
Uncle Albert: What does he do?
Bert: He stands about all day and makes faces.
Uncle Albert: Ha ha ha. He makes faces in a watch factory.

Mr. Dawes Jr: In 1773, an official on this bank financed a shipment of tea to the American colonies, do you know what happened?
George W. Banks: Yes, sir, I think I do. A group the colonists dressed as red Indians borded the vessel and dumped the tea overboard, making the tea unsuitable for drinking. Even for Americans.
Mr. Dawes Jr: Yes. The loan was revolted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank.
Mr. Dawes Sr: There has not been a run on this bank...Until today! A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son, do you deny it?

Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon, are you ill?
George Banks: I hope not.

Mary Poppins: Supercalifrajalisticexpialidocious!

Jane: Good morning, father! Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word!
Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about? Superca-- Super-- or whatever the infernal thing is.
Jane: It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
George W. Banks: Yes, well, I always know what to say.

[As Bert approaches 17 Cherry Tree Lane]
Bert: Here we are, number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, residence of George Banks Esq.
[Bert stops walking when he hears Ellen and Mrs Brill screaming and arguing inside]
Bert: 'ello, 'ello, 'ello?! Admiral's right. 'eavy weather brewing at Number 17 and no mistake!

Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?

Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert: I'd be so grateful.
Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feeling, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth".
[They laugh]
Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: And that was nothing like a good joke.