Janice Bowden: "I hear baseball players make awfully good salaries nowadays."
Jake Taylor: "Well it all depends on how good you are."
Janice Bowden: "How good are you?"
Jake Taylor: "I make the league minimum."

Jake Taylor: "I play for the Indians."
Chaire Holloway: "Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team."
Jake Taylor: "Yup, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!"

Jake Taylor: "That's my wife."
Willie Mays Hayes: "Does she know that?"
Jake Taylor: "Well, she would've been if I hadn't screwed it up. Who's that guy she's with?"
Willie Mays Hayes: "I don't know. He's not wearing a nametag."
Rick Vaughn: "Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?"

Willie Mays Hayes: "The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it."

Willie Mays Hayes: "What the hell league you been playing in?"
Rick Vaughn: "California Penal."
Willie Mays Hayes: "Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?"
Rick Vaughn: "Stole a car."