And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I see an issue I like, and I support it.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I'll tell you right now. I'm for prayer in school.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
- Kinky Friedman Quote

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
- Kinky Friedman Quote

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.
- Kinky Friedman Quote