A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings Quote
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
- Josh Billings Quote
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
- Josh Billings Quote
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
- Josh Billings Quote
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
- Josh Billings Quote
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
- Josh Billings Quote
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
- Josh Billings Quote
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
- Josh Billings Quote
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
- Josh Billings Quote
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
- Josh Billings Quote
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
- Josh Billings Quote
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
- Josh Billings Quote
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
- Josh Billings Quote
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
- Josh Billings Quote
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
- Josh Billings Quote
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
- Josh Billings Quote
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
- Josh Billings Quote
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
- Josh Billings Quote
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
- Josh Billings Quote
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
- Josh Billings Quote
It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
- Josh Billings Quote
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
- Josh Billings Quote
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
- Josh Billings Quote
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
- Josh Billings Quote
Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
- Josh Billings Quote
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
- Josh Billings Quote
Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.
- Josh Billings Quote
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
- Josh Billings Quote
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
- Josh Billings Quote
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings Quote
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has bin getting a little lower ever since.
- Josh Billings Quote
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.
- Josh Billings Quote
Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
- Josh Billings Quote
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
- Josh Billings Quote
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
- Josh Billings Quote
One of rarest things that a man ever does is to do the best he can.
- Josh Billings Quote
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
- Josh Billings Quote
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
- Josh Billings Quote
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
- Josh Billings Quote
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
- Josh Billings Quote
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
- Josh Billings Quote
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
- Josh Billings Quote
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
- Josh Billings Quote
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
- Josh Billings Quote
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
- Josh Billings Quote
The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.
- Josh Billings Quote
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
- Josh Billings Quote
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
- Josh Billings Quote
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
- Josh Billings Quote
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.
- Josh Billings Quote
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.
- Josh Billings Quote
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
- Josh Billings Quote
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
- Josh Billings Quote
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
- Josh Billings Quote
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
- Josh Billings Quote
To bring up a child in the way he should go - travel that way yourself.
- Josh Billings Quote
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
- Josh Billings Quote
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
- Josh Billings Quote
Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
- Josh Billings Quote
