Jerry Maguire: Do you know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU? It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about!

Dicky Fox: The key to this business is personal relationships.

Jerry Maguire: I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.

Bob Sugar: It's not "show friends." It's show *business*.

Jerry Maguire: I lost the number one draft pick the night before the draft!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo.

Laurel: Don't cry at the begining of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.

Dorothy: Look at me Lorial, I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world.

Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.

Rod Tidwell: I got a shelf life of ten years, tops. My next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'll last me and mine a long time. Shit, I'm out of this sport in 5 years. What's my family gonna live on? Huh?

Rod Tidwell: Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.

Jerry Maguire: I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.

Tyson Tidwell: That's my mo-fo.

Jerry Maguire: I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

Laurel: You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.

Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Ethan: Everybody loves you. Pisses me off.

Jerry Maguire: I'm not trying to make history here.

[Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
Jerry Maguire: That's great. I'm very......happy.
Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you. God bless you, Jerry. Now this is what you're gonna do for me. You listening?
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, what can I do for YOU, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Now are you ready? Just checking to make sure you're ready (Rod turns his boom box real low) here it is -- show me the money. (He now blasts the boom box at full level) OHHH!!!! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! Doesn't it make you feel good just to say that, Jerry? Say it with me one time brother!
Jerry Maguire: ....Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: Oh, come on, you can do better than that! I want you to say it brother with meaning! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line I better hear you say it!
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, ye - no, show you the money!
Rod Tidwell: AH! Not show YOU! Show ME the money!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yeah, that's it brother but you got to yell that shit!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Louder!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Laurel: I'm incapable of small talk.

Jerry Maguire: How's your head?
Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

Avery Bishop: If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit.

Copy store clerk: That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

Avery Bishop: There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.