Maggie: [to Hook] You need a mother very very badly!

Tub: I remember Toodles. He was lost too.
Peter: How could you remember Toodles?
Tub: He was a lost boy. These are his marbles.
Peter: Ha ha ha! He really did lose his marbles, didn't he?
Tub: Yeah, he lost them good!

Lost Boys: Kill the pirate!
Peter: I am not a pirate! It so happens that I am a lawyer!
Lost Boys: ...Kill the lawyer!

Peter Banning: What is this? Some sort of Lord of the Fly pre-school? Where are your parents? Who's in charge here?
[The Lost Boys all point to Rufio]
Peter Banning: No, Mr. Skunkhead with too much moose, you are just a punk kid. I WANT TO SPEAK TO A GROWN-UP.
Rufio: All grown-ups are pirates.
Peter Banning: Excuse me?
Rufio: And we kill pirates.

Captain Hook: I hate, I hate, I HATE Peter Pan!

Tinkerbell: I believe in you, Peter Pan.

Peter: Jack, Maggie, all you have to do is think one happy thought, and you'll fly like me.
Maggie: Mommy!
Jack: My dad, Peter Pan.

Tinkerbell: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting.

Peter Banning: I bet you don't even have a fourth grade reading level.
Rufio: Hemorrhoidal suck naval!
Peter Banning: Or maybe a fifth grade reading level.
[kids whistle and waves their hands around]
Rufio: Boil dripping beef fart sniffing bubble butt!
Kids: Bangerang, Rufio!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ka-ka mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory. Cheesy, scab picked, pimple squeezing finger bandage! A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher!
Rufio: Mung tongue!
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison Barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derriere!
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig!
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food, Dude.
Kids: Bangerang, Peter!

Peter Pan (A.K.A. Peter Banning): Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

Smee: I just had an apostrophe.
Captain Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: Lightning just struck my brain.
Captain Hook: That must hurt.

Captain Hook: Death is the only adventure you have left.

Captain Hook: What would the world be like without Captain Hook?

Captain Hook: Peter Pan, prepare to meet thy doom!
Peter Pan: Dark and sinister man, have at thee!

Peter Pan: Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!

Captain Hook: I want my mommy!!

[Peter and Moria are in an argument when Peter's cell phone rings]
Peter Banning: That's Brad. I need to take that. I need to fix this.
Moria Banning: No, you've got to fix your family first.

[Peter falls over and hits his head]
Peter Banning: Oh, look, stars.
Tinkerbell: That's right, Peter. Second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Peter Pan: [To the lost boys] Let's get ready to show them the white light we're made of, boys!
Captain Hook: [To the pirates] Remember the fires of hell that forged you! Charge!

Peter Banning: [unearthing his cell phone] Wow! Brad, hi, you been holding this long? Uh huh. Neverland. Lost Boys. Jim Hook, duel to the death, I'll tell you about it later, I love to chat. But I gotta climb a drain pipe right now. Why? Because I ran out of fairy dust, if not I would've flown up.

Peter Banning: I do not believe in fairies.
Tinkerbell: Every time someone says 'I do not believe in fairies', somewhere there's a fairy that falls down dead.
Peter Banning: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!!!!!!!
[Tinkerbell falls down the stairs of the dollhouse unconscious]
Peter Banning: Oh my God, I think I've killed it.

Captain Hook: Peter! I swear to you wherever you go, wherever you are, I vow there will always be daggers buried in notes signed James Hook. They will be flung into doors of your children's children's children, do you hear me?!
Peter Pan: What do you want, old man?
Captain Hook: Just you.

Captain James Hook: No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move Smee, not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me, Smee!
Smee: On, not again.
Captain James Hook: This is it. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee! Don't try to stop me this time, Smee! Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you'd better get up off your ass! Get over here, Smee!
Smee: I'm coming! I'm coming!
Captain James Hook: Stop me! This is not a joke! I'm committing suicide!
Captain James Hook: Don't ever fight me like that again!
Smee: I'm sorry.
Captain James Hook: Are you some kind of a sadist?

Smee: Good Mooooooooooooorning Neverland!! Here he is, a man so deep, he's almost unfathomable. A man so quick, he's almost fast asleep! I give you, the steel handed stingray, Captain James Hook!

[Maggie is being dragged away by a pirate and Peter's hitting another one]
Maggie: DADDY! DADDY! Daddy?

Peter Banning: [flying to England on a plane in turbulence] I'm not gonna make it to my next birthday.
Moria Banning: You're not gonna die without a phone and fax machine.
Peter Banning: I'm halfway there. I got the phone in my briefcase.

Peter Banning: Jack, my word is my bond.
Jack: Yeah, junk bond.
[he hits the ceiling door in the plane with his ball, and causes some toys on strings to pop down and scare Peter half to death.]
Peter Banning: What in the hell's the matter with you?! When will you stop acting like a child?!
Jack: I am a child.
Peter Banning: Grow up!

Smee: If there's anybody not fighting, get here quick!

Rufio: Lookie Lookie, I've got Hookie.

Peter: To die would be a great adventure.

Garbage Sweeper in Kensington Gardens: Hello. Having trouble with the Mrs.? Well you will have by the time the two of you get home.

Captain James Hook: [to Peter] You know you're not really Peter Pan, don't you? This is only a dream. When you wake up, you'll just be Peter Banning - a cold, selfish man who drinks too much, who's obsessed with success, and runs and hides from his wife and children.

Peter Banning: You're a--you're a complex Freudian hallucination having something to do with my mother and I don't know why you have wings, but you have very lovely legs and you're a very nice tiny person and what am I saying, I don't know who my mother was; I'm an orphan and I've never done drugs because I missed the sixties, I was an accountant.
Tinkerbell: Guess again.

Tinkerbell: Eat.
Peter Banning: Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this!
Tinkerbell: If you can't imagine yourself being Peter Pan, you won't *be* Peter Pan, so eat up!

Wendy Darling: So, Peter, you've become a pirate.

Maggie: [singing] The stars are all my friends when the nightime ends, so I know I'm not alone, when I'm here, on my own. Isn't that a wonder? When you're alone, you're not alone, not really alone.

[Encountering Tinkerbell for the first time.]
Peter: Firefly from hell!

Toodles: Have to fly, have to fight, have to crow, have to save Maggie, have to save Jack, Hook is back.
Peter: Who?

Peter: I remember you being a lot bigger.
Captain Hook: To a ten-year-old I'm Huge.