Tommy DeVito: In this day and age, what the fuck is this world coming to? I can't believe this, prejudice against -- a Jew broad -- predjudice against Italians!

Tommy DeVito: But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?

Tommy DeVito: Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.

Tommy DeVito: How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me?

Henry Hill: [narrating] And when the cops, they assigned a whole army to stop Jimmy, what'd he do? He made 'em partners!

Henry Hill: Jimmy was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.

Henry Hill: [narrating] Whenever we needed money, we'd rob the airport. To us, it was better than Citibank.

Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like:
Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

Maury: What am I? A schmuck on wheels?

Henry Hill: All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. That's what it's all about. That's what the FBI can never understand - that what Paulie and the organization offer is protection for the kinds of guys who can't go to the cops. They're like the police department for wiseguys.

Henry Hill: [narrating] Paulie might have moved slow, but it was only because Paulie didn't have to move for anybody.

Henry Hill: [narrating] One day the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect.

Henry Hill: [narrating] Thirty-two hundred dollars he gave me. Thirty-two hundred dollars for a lifetime. It wasn't even enough to pay for the coffin.

Tommy DeVito: What the fuck are you doing? You're hanging around my fuckin' neck like a vulture, like impending death!

Tommy DeVito: You know Spider, you're a fuckin' mumbling stuttering little prick. You know that?

Henry Hill: As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.

[With the suitcase open on the desk, Henry counts out stacks of cash]
Henry Hill: Thirty-five, forty, forty-five, fifty, sixty thousand.
Jimmy Conway: It's gonna be a good summer.

[Henry, Jimmy and Tommy are digging with shovels to find Batts' corpse. Henry is sickened by the stench, but the others don't appear to be bothered]
Tommy DeVito: Hey Henry, Henry, hurry up will you? My mother's gonna make some fried peppers and sausage for us. Oh hey, Henry, Henry. Here's an arm.
Henry Hill: Very funny, guys.
Tommy DeVito: Hey, here's a leg. Here's a wing.
[He laughs]
Tommy DeVito: Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs?
[Henry vomits]

Henry Hill: [(voice-over)] Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.
[Henry leaves the witness stand and speaks directly to the camera]
Henry Hill: Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I'd go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.
Henry Hill: [(voice-over)] That's the hardest part. Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.

Spider: [hesitating] Why don't you go fuck yourself, Tommy?
[stunned silence]
Jimmy Conway: WHOA! I don't believe what I'm hearing! Check out the BALLS on this kid! Hey Spider, this is for you!
[tosses money on the table]
Jimmy Conway: That's the way! You don't take no shit from nobody!

[Buzzing over and over on her husband's girlfriend's intercom.]
Karen: This is Karen Hill, I want to talk to you. Hello? Don't hang up on me! I want to talk to you! You keep away from my husband, you understand me? Hello? ANSWER ME! I'm going to tell everybody that walks in this building that in 2R, Rossi, you're nothing but a whore!
[gets on phone]
Karen: Is this the superintendent? ...Yes, sir, I would like you to know that you have a whore living in 2R! Rossi, Janice Rossi! ...He's MY husband! Get your own goddamn man!

Billy Batts: Go home and get your fucking shine box.

Tommy DeVito: What, do you got me on a fuckin' pay-no-mind list kid?

Tommy DeVito: He said, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something: go fuck your mother!"

Henry Hill: [narrating] You know, we always called each other goodfellas. Like, you'd say to somebody: "You're gonna like this guy; he's all right. He's a goodfella. He's one of us." You understand? We were goodfellas, wiseguys.

Jimmy Conway: [after Spider tells Tommy to "go fuck yourself"] I can't believe what I just hear.
[he throws some money on the table]
Jimmy Conway: Here, Spider, this is for you. I got respect for this kid. He's got alot of fucking balls. Good for you, don't take no shit of nobody. He shoots him in the foot he tells him to go fuck himself.
[to Tommy, joking]
Jimmy Conway: Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? You gonna let this fucking punk get away with that? What's the matter? What's the world coming to?
[Tommy pulls out a gun and shoots Spider in the chest]

Tommy DeVito: What's the matter with you, huh? What is the fucking matter with you? What are you stupid or what? Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doing, what are you a fucking sick maniac or something?

Jimmy Conway: [shouting] I'm fucking kidding with you, you fucking shoot the guy?

Tommy DeVito: Kidding? How am I meant to know you're kidding? You're breaking my fucking balls.

Tommy DeVito: [Tommy holds up a gun at the truck driver he's hijacking] Where's the strong box you fuckin' vermin?!

Paul Cicero: You know anything about this fucking restaurant business?
[Talking to Henry]
Sonny Bunz: He knows everything about it. I mean he's in the joint 24 hours a day. I mean another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that's how often he's in there.

Henry Hill: [narrating] That's the way it is with a wiseguy partner. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning and World War Three started in the lounge? Fuck you, pay me.