Castor Troy: Watch your fucking mouth.

[After waking from his coma and watching a video of his surgery.]
Castor Troy: Hello, Doctor. I hope you don't mind: I took a few of your groovy painkillers. I'm just enjoying some of your greatest hits here. Oh God, this is excellent. Oh, bravo. Bra-fucking-vo.

Dietrich: Hey Sean, how's your dead son?

Castor Troy: Well, I've gotta go. I've got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck.

Castor Troy: If you dress like Halloween, ghouls will try to get in your pants.

Dietrich: You look like you just fucked your mother.

Sean Archer: We are a covert anti-terrorist team that is so secret, when we snap our fingers NOTHING HAPPENS!

Castor Troy: Isn't this religious, ah yes. The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners... but you are still not having fun!

Sean Archer: I want to take his face... off. Eyes, nose, skin, teeth. It's coming off!

Castor Troy: Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage.

Castor Troy: No daughter of mine would shoot so wide.

Sean Archer: When we put this thing away, you can brand the 4th amendment on my butt.

Castor Troy: I'm about to unleash the biblical plague "Hell"-A. deserves.

[Sean Archer and Castor Troy, each wearing the other's face, meet]
Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not.

Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here. Papa's got a brand new bag.

Jamie Archer: Dad, I'm sorry I shot you.

Castor Troy: Hello? This is Sean Archer.
Sean Archer: Well, if you are Sean Archer, then I must be Castor Troy.