"I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade."
"If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one."
"I had to get rich so I could afford to sing like I was poor again."
"There are plenty of charities for the homeless. Isn't it time somebody helped the homely?"
"I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde."
"I describe my look as a blend of mother goose, cinderella, and the local hooker!"
"It takes a lot of money to make a person look this cheap!"
"I like to buy clothes that are two sizes too small and then take them in a little."