Carmine Lorenzo: You are in my little pond now, and I am the big fish that runs it

John McClane: That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It dosen't show up on you airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month.
Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be a surprised what I make in a month.
John McClane: If it was more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be surprised.

Al Powell: What's this about?
John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have.
Al Powell: Ouch! When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt.

John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brain?

[McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system]
John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A little eggnog... a fuckin' Christmas tree... a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can!

[McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter]
Chopper Pilot: What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough?
John McClane: I don't like to fly.
Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here?
John McClane: I don't like to lose either.

Al Powell: You ain't pissing in somebody's pool, are you?
John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh out of chlorine.

John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?

Grant: You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time!
John McClane: Story of my life.

John McClane: I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all.
Grant: Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of asshole.

Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you.
John McClane: I got enough friends!

Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport.
John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too.

Marvin: So you like that one huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it?
John McClane: How 'bout I let you live?
Marvin: Man sure knows how to bargain.

Carmine Lorenzo: Hey McClane, did you get this parking ticket in front of my airport?
John McClane: Yeah.
[Lorenzo tears ticket up]
Carmine Lorenzo: Ah what the hell it's Christmas!!

[John can't get out from under his parachute]
John McClane: Where's the fuckin door?

John McClane: How are ya Marvin?
Marvin: I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess!

[John McClane is taking a dead guy's fingerprints]
Morgue Worker: Hey! You're supposed to do that at the morgue!
John McClane: Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA.