A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope Quote

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope Quote

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
- Bob Hope Quote

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
- Bob Hope Quote

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope Quote

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
- Bob Hope Quote

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
- Bob Hope Quote

I have to much money invested in sweaters.
- Bob Hope Quote

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
- Bob Hope Quote

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
- Bob Hope Quote

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
- Bob Hope Quote

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
- Bob Hope Quote

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
- Bob Hope Quote

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
- Bob Hope Quote

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
- Bob Hope Quote

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
- Bob Hope Quote

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
- Bob Hope Quote

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
- Bob Hope Quote

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
- Bob Hope Quote

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
- Bob Hope Quote

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
- Bob Hope Quote

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
- Bob Hope Quote

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
- Bob Hope Quote

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
- Bob Hope Quote

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
- Bob Hope Quote

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
- Bob Hope Quote