Dave Buznik: Because I refused to spoon with you last night?

Nate: Ohh, the anger sharks are swimming in my head!

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin.

Dave Buznik: I feel pretty, oh so pretty.

Rudy Giuliani: You can do it!

[fleeing the monastery]
Dr. Buddy Rydell: You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!

Lou: I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!

Lou: Eskimos seem nice.

Dave Buznik: I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!

Dr. Buddy Rydell: She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea.
Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew...the testicle with legs.

Chuck: Here's my phone number.
[Dave reads it]
Dave Buznik: "I'm going to kill you bitch"??
Chuck: Oh sorry. That's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera.

Dave Buznik: Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one in anger management.
Bobby Knight: What? I don't need anger management! I thought this was sexaholics anonymous!
Dave Buznik: Uh, I think that's down the hall.
Bobby Knight: Oh SCREW THIS!
[throws his book across the room and stomps off]