Ada Quonsett: My late husband played the violin. Not professionally, but he was very good. He once played the Minute Waltz in 58 seconds.

Joe Patroni: Hold on, we're goin' for broke!

Joe Patroni: I'll be back in time if I have to pull that plane out with my teeth!

Joe Patroni: Let us put it this way: You promised me a box of cigars if I pull this off, right? Well, what're you standing here for? Go get 'em!

Mel Bakersfeld: Don't talk to me about consequences! When Congress voted to cut airport appropriations, you never even sent in a letter of protest. And where were you when the airlines and the pilots and the rest of us were...were pleading for...for more airports and better traffic control? You were picking out the colors in the ladies' lounge. So now you've got your consequences!

Joe Patroni: Hold the whipped cream; I just had dessert.

Mel Bakersfeld: They're having a conference now to decide what to do. But I need somebody who knows. A genius. Like Patroni.

Ada Quonsett: When you get to be older, there isn't a lot left to be frightened of.

Mel Bakersfeld: If you're wondering if we had another fight, the answer is no. Just a continuation of the same one.

Captain Anson Harris: Helen was a stewardess, flying DC-4s. That's how we met and, uh, she knew what was going on. So when we got married, I made her a promise - the obvious one. I always kept it.

Assistant: The instruction book said that was impossible!
Patroni: That's one nice thing about the 707. She can do everything but read.

Marcus Rathbone: What's more, the captain deliberately struck me across the face!
Cy Jordan: Unless you shut up, the second officer's going to do exactly the same thing.

Capt. Anson Harris: Remind me to send a thank you note to Mr. Boeing.

[The precocious nerd figures out they're turning around.]
Mrs. Schultz: Captain, our son has a question. Schuyler, here's our captain.
Schuyler Schultz: [pointing out the window] Before, Virgo and Leo were right there, sir. Now I'm beginning to see Ursa Minor and Cassiopeia. We MUST be turning around.
Capt. Vernon Demerest: You have a young navigator here! Well, I'll tell you son... Due to a Cecil wind, Dystor has vectored us into a 360-tossen of slor traffic. Now we'll maintain this Borden hold until we get the Forta Magnus clearance from Meldings.
Schuyler Schultz: Oh... yes... of course!
Mr. Schultz: What did he mean by that, son?
Schuyler Schultz: Never mind, father, I'll tell you later.