A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers Quote
A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers Quote
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
- Will Rogers Quote
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers Quote
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
- Will Rogers Quote
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers Quote
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
- Will Rogers Quote
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
- Will Rogers Quote
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
- Will Rogers Quote
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
- Will Rogers Quote
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
- Will Rogers Quote
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
- Will Rogers Quote
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
- Will Rogers Quote
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers Quote
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
- Will Rogers Quote
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
- Will Rogers Quote
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
- Will Rogers Quote
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers Quote
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- Will Rogers Quote
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
- Will Rogers Quote
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
- Will Rogers Quote
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers Quote
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers Quote
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers Quote
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers Quote
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
- Will Rogers Quote
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
- Will Rogers Quote
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers Quote
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
- Will Rogers Quote
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."
- Will Rogers Quote
I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers Quote
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
- Will Rogers Quote
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
- Will Rogers Quote
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
- Will Rogers Quote
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
- Will Rogers Quote
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
- Will Rogers Quote
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
- Will Rogers Quote
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Quote
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
- Will Rogers Quote
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
- Will Rogers Quote
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
- Will Rogers Quote
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
- Will Rogers Quote
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
- Will Rogers Quote
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
- Will Rogers Quote
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
- Will Rogers Quote
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
- Will Rogers Quote
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
- Will Rogers Quote
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
- Will Rogers Quote
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers Quote
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
- Will Rogers Quote
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
- Will Rogers Quote
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
- Will Rogers Quote
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
- Will Rogers Quote
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers Quote
Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.
- Will Rogers Quote
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
- Will Rogers Quote
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
- Will Rogers Quote
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
- Will Rogers Quote
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
- Will Rogers Quote
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
- Will Rogers Quote
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
- Will Rogers Quote
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
- Will Rogers Quote
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
- Will Rogers Quote
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
- Will Rogers Quote
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
- Will Rogers Quote
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
- Will Rogers Quote
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
- Will Rogers Quote
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"
- Will Rogers Quote
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
- Will Rogers Quote
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
- Will Rogers Quote
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
- Will Rogers Quote
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
- Will Rogers Quote
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
- Will Rogers Quote
The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
- Will Rogers Quote
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
- Will Rogers Quote
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
- Will Rogers Quote
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
- Will Rogers Quote
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers Quote
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers Quote
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
- Will Rogers Quote
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
- Will Rogers Quote
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
- Will Rogers Quote
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
- Will Rogers Quote
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
- Will Rogers Quote
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?
- Will Rogers Quote
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
- Will Rogers Quote
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
- Will Rogers Quote
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
- Will Rogers Quote
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
- Will Rogers Quote
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
- Will Rogers Quote
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
- Will Rogers Quote
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.
- Will Rogers Quote
You can't say that civilization don't advance; for in every war they kill you a new way.
- Will Rogers Quote
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
- Will Rogers Quote
