Carpe per diem - seize the check.
- Robin Williams Quote

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
- Robin Williams Quote

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
- Robin Williams Quote

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
- Robin Williams Quote

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Robin Williams Quote

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
- Robin Williams Quote

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
- Robin Williams Quote

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
- Robin Williams Quote

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
- Robin Williams Quote

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
- Robin Williams Quote

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
- Robin Williams Quote

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- Robin Williams Quote

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Robin Williams Quote

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
- Robin Williams Quote

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'
- Robin Williams Quote

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams Quote

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.
- Robin Williams Quote

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
- Robin Williams Quote

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
- Robin Williams Quote

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
- Robin Williams Quote

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
- Robin Williams Quote

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- Robin Williams Quote

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
- Robin Williams Quote