Vivian: You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice.

Vivian: Can I call you Eddie?
Edward Lewis: Not if you expect me to answer.

Edward Lewis: I told you not to pick up the phone.
Vivian: Then stop calling me.

Store manager: Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive?
Edward Lewis: Really offensive.
Store manager: I like him so much.

[After meeting Vivian]
Elizabeth Stuckey: She's wonderful! Where did you find her?
Edward Lewis: 976-BABE.

Vivian: I'm gonna treat you so good, you're never gonna let me go.

Vivian: You're late.
Edward Lewis: You're stunning.
Vivian: You're forgiven.

Old Lady at Opera: Did you like the opera, dear?
Vivian: It was so good, I almost peed my pants!
Edward Lewis: She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.

Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?

Edward Lewis: You can't charge me for directions!
Vivian: I can do anything I want to baby, I ain't lost.

Edward Lewis: A buffet of safety?
Vivian: I'm a safety girl.
[Edward stands up.]
Vivian: Alright, let's get one of these on ya.

Edward Lewis: I never treated you like a prostitute.
[Walks away]
Vivian: You just did.

Philip Stuckey: He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank.

Edward Lewis: What's your name?
Vivian: What do you want it to be?

Edward Lewis: You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding up your boot.

[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian.]
Vivian: Tell me one person who it's worked out for.
Kit: What, you want like a name? A name, a name, the pressure of a name... I got it. Cindafuckin'rella

Vivian: So, what's your name?
Edward Lewis: Edward.
Vivian: Really? That's my favorite name in the whole world.

[At the beginning of the evening.]
Vivian: In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

[After negotiating three thousand dollars.]
Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward Lewis: I would have paid four.

Edward Lewis: You and I are such similar creatures Vivian. We both screw people for money.

Vivian: I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions... the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?

[Kit is streetwalking.]
Kit: Hey yo, baby!
Guy in car: How 'bout a freebie? It's my birthday.
Kit: Dream on!

Kit: You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than $100. Call me when you're through. Take care of you.
Vivian: Take care of you.

[Vivian calls Kit.]
Vivian: I called and called last night. Where were you?!
Kit: Mom?

Vivian: That would make you a... lawyer.
Edward Lewis: What makes you think I'm a lawyer?
Vivian: You have that sharp, useless look about you.

Edward Lewis: I think we both know she's not my niece.
Barney: Of course.

Vivian: I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.

Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.

Kit: I don't know. Maybe you could, like, buy a horse and some diamonds.

Edward Lewis: How much for the entire night?
Vivian: Stay here? You couldn't afford it.
Edward Lewis: Try me.
Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward Lewis: Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.

Kit: Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.