Miss Schlowski: So tell me, how did it feel to SLUG that SON-OF-A-BITCH?
Detective John Kimble: It felt good.

Detective John Kimble: Just don't throw up on me.
Phoebe O'Hara: Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you!

Detective John Kimble: Listen, I appreciate your honesty, but do you happen to know anyone that is *not* better than me?
Dominic: I don't know that many people.

[John Kimble sees boy eating out of lunch boxes]
Detective John Kimble: Are all these your lunches?
[Boy shakes his head]
Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
[Boy nods]
Detective John Kimble: STOP IT!

[after the kids start complaining about "police school"]
Detective John Kimble: Oh come on... STOP WHINING! You kids are soft! You lack discipline! WELL I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ARE MINE NOW! YOU BELONG TO ME!

Joyce: You know, kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it.

Phoebe: Not so tough without your car, are you?

Mitch, the Dope Dealer: So who are you, man?
[Kimble loads his shot-gun]
Mitch, the Dope Dealer: Shit!
Detective John Kimble: I'm the party pooper.

[As Phoebe O'Hara leaves her seat after suffering food poisoning]

Detective John Kimble: There *is* no bathroom.

Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Detective John Kimble: Thanks for the tip.

Joseph: Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina!
Phoebe: [to Kimble] Well, you taught them the basics, that's important.

Detective John Kimble: We are going to play a fun game. It's called, "who is your daddy, and what does he do?"

Tina & Rina: Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.

Joseph: My dad's a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.

Detective John Kimble: I'm a cop you idiot!

Detective John Kimble: [to some gang members leaning on his car] Oh, forgot to introduce myself, my name is John Kimble
[reloads his rifle]
Detective John Kimble: AND LOVE MY CAR!
Gang Member: Hey, we'll take good care of it.

Detective John Kimble: I Have a headache.
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!

Detective John Kimble: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Miss Schlowski: So tell me, how did it fell to SLUG that SON-OF-A-BITCH?
Detective John Kimble: It felt good.