Lyle: I am The Napster!

Lyle: You'll never shut down the real Napster.

Left Ear: He got dogs, I don't do dogs...I had a bad experience.
Charlie Croker: What happened?
Left Ear: I had a bad experience, man... I'M deaf!

Stella: I don't go out with strange men. I just met you 5 minutes ago.
Steve: What, I'll just have to sabotage my cable till we get to know each other better?

Skinny Pete: There's three things you don't trust; mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother fucking Ukrainians!

Steve: Where the fuck is my truck?

Lyle: [impersonating Handsome Rob and girl] You're not very bright are you?
[Girl's voice]
Lyle: [giggles] No.
[Handsome Rob's voice]
Lyle: Perfect.

Charlie Croker: You've got no imagination. You couldn't even decide how to spend 35 million dollars on your own. You had to get what everybody else wanted.

Stella: I trust everyone. It's the devil inside the person I don't trust.

Stella: I'm fine.
Charlie Croker: You know what fine stands for: Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.