Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.
Selina Kyle: A kiss under the mistle toe...a mistletoe can be deadly if you eat
Bruce Wayne: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.
Catwoman: I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... yummier.
Batman: Eat floor.
[Throws Catwoman down.]
Batman: High fiber.
The Penguin: You got to admit I played this stinking city like a harp from hell.
The Penguin: You got to admit I've plagued this stinking city like a hawk from
The Penguin: [to Catwoman] Just the pussy I was looking for!
The Penguin: [to Catwoman] You're beauty and beast.
Batman: You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.
Batman: What do you want?
The Penguin: Ah, the direct approach. I like that from a man in a mask.
[laughs, then turns serious]
The Penguin: You don't really think you'll win, do you?
Batman: Things change.
Selina Kyle: Wow, THE Batman -- or is it just "Batman"? It's your
choice, of course!
Selina Kyle: I don't like normal men, they always let you down. The sick ones
don't scare me, at least they're committed.
[Addressing a huge flock of penguins.]
The Penguin: My dear penguins, we stand upon a great threshold! It's alright to
be scared; most of you won't be coming back. But, thanks to Batman, the time has
come to punish ALL of God's children! 1st, 2nd, 3rd AND 4th-born! Why be biased?
Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones BLOWN SKY
HIGH! FORWARD MARCH! THE LIBERATION OF GOTHAM HAS BEGUN!
The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation.
Upstanding mayor stuff.
The Penguin: It's true I was their number one son... but they treated me like
Henchman: But killing children. Isn't it a little...
The Penguin: No! It's a lot!
The Penguin: But when it comes down to it, who is holding the umbrella?
Catwoman: I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.
The Penguin: I believe the word you are looking for is "Aaahh"!
Catwoman: Hello honey, I'm home. Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.
The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a real freak and you have to wear a
The Penguin: I am NOT a human being, I am an animal!
Catwoman: Life's a bitch; now so am I.
Charles 'Chip' Shreck: Dad, you buy that bleary business?
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me Chip, except your late
mother. Who'da thought Selina had a brain to damage. Bottom line, she tries to
blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window. Meantime, I got better fish to
[seeing Bruce Wayne in a tuxedo at a masquerade party]
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Let me guess....trust fund goody-goody?
[Catwoman just knocked the guns out of 2 security guards' hands]
Guard 2: Don't hurt us lady, our take-home is less than $300?
Catwoman: You're over-paid, hit the road.
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Bruce Wayne? Why are you dressed like Batman?
Catwoman: Because he is Batman, you moron.
The Penguin: You don't really think you'll win...do you?
[Catwoman is hit]
Catwoman: How could you? I'm a woman.
Batman: I'm sorry, I..
[Batman is hit]
Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted.
Ice Princess: The tree lights up, I press the button ... No wait, I press the
button and --
Volunteer Bimbo: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.
Selina Kyle: How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless?
Selina Kyle: It's the so-called "normal" guys that always let you
down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.
The Penguin: They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' them out on a
Bruce Wayne: Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.
The Penguin: Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead
puppets of Gotham!
Selina Kyle: Ok, Intimidate me, bully me if it makes you feel big. I mean it's
not like you can just kill me...
Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Actually, it's a lot like that.
The Penguin: Ah, shit, I grabbed a cute one.
The Penguin: The heat is getting to me, I'll kill you momentarily.
Catwoman: You're the second man who killed me this week. But I've got seven
Selina Kyle: Oh god ... does this mean we have to start fighting now?